Where can I get your books?

There are several ways to get Tanya’s books. Some are available in Grand Rapids at Schuler’s Books and Music. You can also get ebooks at allromanceebooks.com and champagnebooks.com or from the Tanya Eby Amazon Author page. Here is a list of all the links:

BLUNDER WOMAN

For pdf and print, click: Champagne Books

For ebooks, click: All Romance Ebooks

For Kindle, click: Amazon

PEPPER WELLINGTON AND THE CASE OF THE MISSING SAUSAGE

For pdf and print version, click: Champagne Books

For print version: Amazon

For ebook, click: All Romance Ebooks

For iTunes Bookstore

For Kindle, click: Amazon

EASY DOES IT

For print copy, click: Amazon

For Kindle, click: Amazon

“Pepper Wellington and the Case of the Missing Sausage”

by Tanya Eby.

Now Available!

Amy Wellington is about to get married and she couldn’t be more miserable. Sure, she loves Peter Johnson (even though his name does bring up certain, um, associations in her mind), but the problem is her mother, Pepper. Amy hasn’t spoken to her in over a decade and for good reason: her mother is cursed with being interesting. Take for instance, Amy’s real name: Sausage. She blames her mother entirely.

The wedding will take place at the beautiful Leelanau Lodge, a secluded spot in northern Michigan. When Peter convinces Amy to invite her mother, Amy knows there’s going to be trouble. But how could she know the trouble will involve the very sexy Graham (her first love), a series of murders, and excellent lentil soup?

In “Pepper Wellington and the Case of the Missing Sausage” there’s murder and sex, but not at the same time. There is also a string of questions. Will Amy finally live her life authentically? Will she choose a grey life with Peter, or a colorful one with Graham? How many people will end up dead? And most importantly…what kind of mother would name her daughter Sausage?

 

“Blunder Woman”

by

Tanya Eby

 

Released by Champagne Books as an eBook July 5, 2010

Coming in Fall 2010: Audio book and trade paperback

ISBN: 978-1-926681-54-2

Genre: Romantic Comedy

“Chloe Knaggs is faster than a crawling turtle, more neurotic than Woody Allen, and quirkier than an average superhero…and it’s all in the name of Mmm.”

 

Audio Sample:

Click below to listen to Tanya reading from the prologue of “Blunder Woman”

AUDIO SAMPLE Blunder Woman Prologue

AUDIO SAMPLE Blunder Woman–Chapter 20

 

Description:

Chloe Knaggs is a bit of a nerd, a bit of a klutz, and all Blunder Woman, especially when it comes to love. Take the love of her life Matt M.—or as she calls him—Mmm. He’s her consummate unboyfriend, meaning, they have all the intimacy of a dating couple without any of the intimacy. Confused? So is Chloe. When Matt decides to elope with the very beautiful, svelte Amber, Chloe goes a little bit crazy and takes her hippy mom and best friend Megan right along with her. “Blunder Woman” is a hilarious romp with bright characters through a series of misadventures including a derby party gone horribly wrong, a night of drinking Flaming Turtles, and a fundraising event where the biggest blunder of all occurs. “Blunder Woman” is funny, fresh, and above all real…in a truly awkward way.

 

Sample Chapter:

Four

Preparing for the Party

A.k.a.

Drinking and Using a Glue Gun

 

My mom and I had a long, complicated history. And not long because I was thirty-two. Long because Mom was a perpetual free spirit. Which is great if you want to go to a party…not so great if you needed to carpool to skating practice. She wasn’t exactly reliable, but most times, that’s what I loved about her. Her given name was Rose Marie, but she liked to be called “Willow”. I just called her Mom. So did Megan. It just simplified things.

And being the free spirit she was, when I called her at Beacon Hills Retirement Center and said, “So there’s this party….”

She said, “I’m on my way” followed by, “Do I need vodka, the glue gun or both?”

“Both,” I said.

Ten minutes later we were curled up in front of the TV watching the melodrama Picnic, surrounded by sparkling sequins, and sipping a cocktail made of vodka and something like Ensure.

I called Megan to try and convince her to go with us, and Mom had me put her on speaker. I never exactly asked my mom to go, but she decided she was going just the same. “Look, if you’re going to meet Matt’s friends, then he needs to meet yours,” Mom said.

“You’re not a friend though. You’re family.”

“Family schmamily. I’m your mother and I say what goes and I say we’re friends.”

Who can argue with logic like that? Mom painted a stripe of glue down the center of the hat and called out “Fringe!” like she was a surgeon asking for a scalpel.

“Fringe!” I replied, and handed it to her.

She stuck her tongue out while she attached the purple fringe and then blew on it to dry. “Of course, you’re going too, Megan.”

“I’m not going,” Megan said defiantly. The speakerphone made her sound like she’d fit right in with a 1950’s horror flick. “I’ve got at least another hour on Ghost Deep before I conquer the level 4 Zombie.” We could hear the telltale clicking of Megan’s computer game. She was absolutely obsessed with conquering that stupid game.

Mom gave Megan TheLook. I guess since Megan didn’t have much of a relationship with her parents, she wasn’t familiar with The Look. The Look meant you either did what my mom said or you’d suffer days of neglect, meaning no back rubs, no playing with your hair, and no Chex Mix. Of course, Mom gave The Look to the phone, so even though I knew Megan couldn’t see her…I was pretty sure she could feel The Look emanating across the phone wires.

“Of course you’re coming, Meg.” I said. “We’re all going to a Kentucky Derby party. There will be loads of people, and you and Mom can hang out and analyze people while Matt and I…” I wasn’t exactly sure what Matt and I were going to be doing, if anything, and what exactly I could do with him with my mom there with me. It was all starting to feel a bit Jerry Springer. “Everyone drinks mint juleps and wears outrageous hats.”

Megan didn’t respond. There was a fast succession of clicks, so she was either killing a lot of ghosts, or simply didn’t know what to say. I’ve learned that with Megan, you just have to wait out her silences. As soon as it passes the unbearably awkward point, the point most people never reach, she caves in and gives you what you want.

“I don’t have any hats,” she said. “I think my next door neighbor has a bike helmet. Does that count?”

I held up my sombrero to the light. It sparkled like a disco globe. “It counts,” I said. “Wear that. And a short skirt. Matt has friends.” I said “friends” with emphasis, and Megan got me. She knew what I was really saying was “Matt is hot, his friends must be hot, and he has a lot of them. A lot of hot friends, getting drunk, wearing hats.”

“This is going to be sexy,” I said.

Megan paused again. “I don’t like it when you say that.”

“Say what?”

“That something’s sexy. It makes you sound weird.”

“I am weird.”

“Yeah, but it makes you sound like teacher-having-sex-with-high-school-student weird.”

Mom nodded in silent agreement.

“Oh,” I said. “It will be sweet.”

“It will be sweet,” Mom said. “I’ve had a vision, ladies. This party is going to change our lives. Every single one of us.”

While it may sound dramatic here, Mom was always having visions and every vision was a portent of change. I think she said it just to get me interested in something. “This nail polish is going to change your life in a way you would never expect,” is an example. Megan was used to her premonitions also.

But every once in awhile, Mom would turn out to be right.

And I had my own kind of feeling that tonight was a night it would all change.

We hung up and I left Mom to put the finishing touches on the hat. I retreated to my bedroom where I spent the rest of my evening flexing like a cat in heat and envisioning Matt’s party and his hands all over me. I do not need to go into the detail of where exactly I envisioned his hands, but again, I say, all over.

And the party?

Not what I envisioned.

There were no hands on me.

And there were no hats.

 

 

Short Sample #1:

 

Megan pulled The Beast onto the lawn, slammed it into park and immediately took off her bike helmet. Her hair stayed in funny puffy rows, the after-image of the helmet. The goggles, for some reason, she kept on, so in her white sundress she looked like a mad scientist. She looked at me and said through steel-trap teeth, “I thought you said they’d be wearing outrageous hats! Where are the outrageous hats?”

I looked. She was right. There were about a hundred nicely dressed women on Matt’s lawn, sipping cocktails, fanning themselves with their nicely painted fingertips or talking on sparkling cell phones. And the hair! Their beautiful hair! Ponytails, braids, long tresses flowing like waterfalls, sparkling, tinkling in the sunlight. And not a hat in the bunch! No flags or feathers or sequins except…yeah. Except for Megan’s bike helmet, my mom’s peacock feather and shiny breast sweatshirt, and my outrageous sombrero.

To be honest, my hat was in a country beyond outrageous.

The sombrero lit up like an octogenarian’s birthday cake.

And I had wired it to play mariachi music.

 

 

 

 

 

Review

“Tanya’s writing is the best thing I’ve ever read. I’ve read everything she’s written and it’s amazing. Really! Just incredible! She should be famous.”

-Anne, Tanya’s Mom

Novels — Romantic Comedies

Easy Does It:2 Sci-Fi geeks, a saucy internet ad, an English rocker from Detroit, an argyle sock and pure craziness. Oh, and lots of food. Published, June 2009.

Easy Does It–Quick Summary

Easy Does It — 30 Page Sample

Pepper Wellington and the Case of the Missing Sausage: Pepper Wellington is cursed with being interesting. She’s so interesting she names her only daughter “Sausage”. On the eve of Sausage’s wedding, people start dying and she goes missing. Filled with laughter, quirky characters and a dash of romance, this comedic mystery is a fast-paced, fun adventure. Coming in February 2011 from Champagne Books.